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_charlie-sheen-needs-an-intern-and-valium.webp "Metanews: After having “gobbled the soft target” of reaching 2 million Twitter followers like a “bag of troll-house zombie chow,” the unstoppable %u2013and not at all careering towards a full mental breakdown most likely ending in catatonia %u2013 Charlie Sheen is enlisting an intern with there being zero risk of media interest drying up. The perfect opportunity for someone looking for a foot-in-the-door into the heady heights of Hollywood royalty and permanent psychological damage. The advert went something like this%u2026<br/><br/>“Please send a CV, full body shot (does not have to be professional) and your cup size.<br/><br/>Position: Full-time, paid in debilitating Class A drugs and Hooters coupons. I also have a signed photo of my Dad if you want.<br/><br/>Timeframe: Until I%u2019ve jumped the shark so much I become a parody of myself.<br/><br/>Description:<br/><br/>-Massaging my nursing tigers mammaries so that their teats are constantly ready for milking. We will be mixing this with ether and auctioning them off in Maximuscle bottles on eBay as #TigerBlood<br/><br/>-Deflecting all %u2018remember that time he knocked the shit out of a woman%u2019 news stories with humour, please remember I exposed those women to “magic”.<br/><br/>-Letting me beat you at Mortal Kombat, thumb-wars and masturbation races. I need to maintain a constant level of #winning.<br/><br/>-Ensuring I always have a fresh rotation of porn stars in my play pen%u2026guest room, whatever. Bonus to your pay packet if you can find me Annabel Chong.<br/><br/>-Threatening my fellow A-list celebrities into Tiger Blood endorsements. Kim Kardashian%u2019s ass high priority for advertising space.<br/><br/>-I need an eight-ball inserted into my anal passage each morning. This isn%u2019t a glamorous task but you should be fucking grateful to be in the presence of a Hollywood legend, do you realise I was in Scary Movie 3?<br/><br/>-Keeping the sniper on my roof fed and watered. They are operating on a shoot to kill policy for any mental health workers that have the audacity to approach Sheen HQ and need to be alert.<br/><br/>Knowledge of first aid, CPR and KY jelly wrestling skills are an advantage. As are breasts.”")
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_lil-dicky-all-k-official-video-hd.webp "Lyrics -<br/><br/>Verse 1<br/><br/>look, im the man bro<br/>iont really care what the fuck you think<br/>steak look rare but I grub dat pink<br/>and the grundle stink<br/>and I bump nsync<br/><br/>don't suck dick, but I blow dat good<br/>don't want shit but a ho that would<br/>lemme hold dat, bend and fold that<br/>get a Kodak, cowboy, jerry jones dat, lemme own that<br/><br/>word...fuck that girl<br/>jew got hair, never cut them curls<br/>truth or dare wit a cute au paire<br/>get a room to share, hit a boom, pat burrell<br/><br/>spit dat turd, das dat shit<br/>gotcha girl up on ma dick<br/>I'm bout to sperm up on dem hips<br/>Don't wanna murder us a kid<br/><br/>Oh shit...whatchu say<br/>Don'tchu do this erry day?<br/>Don'tchu usually go wit double meat when you eat chipotle<br/>Don't your crew lack someone black, but you want one to hang no slave<br/>And I heard your boo got so much back like she bangin that notre dame clock<br/><br/>Faded tho.<br/>Fuckin bitches you'd label undateable<br/>Missing birthdays, hay belated brah<br/>Naked out in san fran on that rooftop<br/>I got tan cans, no tube top<br/><br/>Cuz I'm the mafuckan man goddamn,<br/>And these mafuckas bitches full a shit like zoo mops so<br/><br/>Chorus:<br/><br/>Look, you can do it, you can say it<br/>I been through it, you can play it<br/>Yea I'm jewish, so I'm praying das yo boo cuz I'ma take her.<br/><br/>Dinner at the crib, feedin kobe like a laker<br/>You know what it is, I'm a mafuckan K-I-K-E<br/>You don't play wanna play D<br/>Goin down low on ya dame<br/>Getcha mafuckin weight up<br/>You can find a cracker getting paid like a sedar<br/>All day<br/>Word up<br/>All K<br/><br/>verse 2<br/><br/>whoa, afikoman in a flow, das a pro<br/>whatchu know bout dicky creamin up in hos<br/>no ho ho<br/>whatchu know about a balla<br/>born and raised on the kaballah<br/>tryna make a dollar, until I'm cakin and stackin challa<br/><br/>I'm hollerin atcha daughter like when the fuck you tryna get it<br/>dat vagina fitted custom for humpin dis little dicky<br/>puffin sticky while she bangin on ma wood<br/>superstitious , pussy good<br/>cooter vicious, within a minute I finished<br/><br/>but I aint trippin off no quick nut<br/>and no pain in the butt, ma shit's tough<br/>and ma dick's sucked, and yo dick sucks<br/>but real talk I could never give an inch up<br/><br/>we tippin cups in the strip club, no flip cup<br/>Wit a fit butt rubbin on my Nike zip up<br/>No whisenhunt, but them bad bitches get cut<br/>gotta get up so the dick tucked<br/><br/>What the fuck you doin<br/>This that heavy fuckin flow<br/>Word to pads<br/>Wearing out a lotta boxes on the road<br/>Word to plaid<br/><br/>and I gotta have my pops no cereal<br/>das word to dad<br/>watching breaking bad, fucking wit hank and sippin tab boi.<br/><br/>Chorus:<br/><br/>Look, you can do it, you can say it<br/>I been through it, you can play it<br/>Yea I'm jewish, so I'm praying das yo boo cuz I'ma take her.<br/><br/>Dinner at the crib, feedin kobe like a laker<br/>You know what it is, I'm a mafuckan K-I-K-E<br/>You don't play wanna play D<br/>Goin down low on ya dame<br/>Getcha mafuckin weight up<br/>You can find a cracker getting paid like a sedar<br/>All day<br/>Word up<br/>All K<br/><br/>Produced by Mr. Sisco.")
![Lyrics:<br/><br/>[Intro]<br/>First entry for Sickology 101, Dysfunctional<br/><br/>[Tech N9ne]<br/>Yeah<br/>Don't you bring me nothing stupid<br/>If you don't want me to lose it<br/>Step back if you don't want me to attack<br/>I'm a beast, Better give me the deuces<br/><br/>I have no tolerance for nonsense<br/>Get away from me<br/>Me don't wanna get dollars<br/>Don't wanna holler but you makin me<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional<br/>You're the problem, Please don't awakin me<br/>And I'm that way cause back in the day<br/>Most have forsaken me<br/><br/>Lodi dodi, I'm at the party<br/>On a drunk night with a punk<br/>Might dude wanna pick a fight because he's sorry... <br/>That he aint Gotti, Like I be<br/>Cause he sloppy, Not me<br/>Costly rocks be spot free<br/><br/>But he don't know I'm roguish<br/>Surrounded by my soldiers<br/>And they be locked and loaded<br/>When exploded, You can't hold us<br/>And we don't got no scruples<br/>We didn't come to fight and shoot you<br/>But you busters better be mutual<br/>Don't get loose because we cuckoo<br/><br/>Listen, They call me genius, I run the show<br/>Woman be on my penis, It's wonderful<br/>Demons think they the meanest<br/>But I brung the foe on the flow<br/>Little bit sick, Don't you know?<br/><br/>[Hook: Big Krizz Kaliko]<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>You could fool around and make me mad<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>Might fool around and make me mad<br/>Don't make me mad<br/><br/>[Big Scoob]<br/>Born to hustle<br/>I'm a product of environment<br/>The game done changed<br/>So I've been forced into retirement<br/>But I make moves and I paid dues<br/>And I got common sense<br/>Since I can't lose and I can't choose<br/>Then I'll come back to spit<br/>I got hit songs but I've been gone so long that I don't fit<br/>Knealed at the throne but can't get on<br/>So I need me a lick<br/>I write these songs but don't belong<br/>I'm on some other shit<br/>I'm huntin leads in desperate need<br/>I hope it's comin quick<br/>I'd wrap my brain to find a lane<br/>That's gon' bring me some change<br/>But it's so strange, My life has changed<br/>And I am not the same<br/>I come around but since I'm down<br/>It feels uncomfortable<br/>I try to hide it deep inside but I'm dysfunctional<br/>I never learned to hold it in<br/>I gets emotional<br/>First, Implode and then explode<br/>I am combustible<br/>So please don't push me, Play me, pussy<br/>On some real shit, Won't be defeated<br/>If I'm heated, nigga<br/>Oh shit! <br/><br/>[Hook: Big Krizz Kaliko]<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>You could fool around and make me mad<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>Might fool around and make me mad<br/>Don't make me mad<br/><br/>[Big Krizz Kaliko]<br/>I aint no killer but don't push me<br/>Goody-Goody choir boy never been no pussy<br/>Could be carrying something up under my hoody<br/>Krizz will never snap and kill a baller, y'all<br/>Or would he?<br/><br/>Now I wanna be peaceful<br/>But I carry Desert Eagles where ever black people are<br/>You know how black people are<br/>I peep 'em out, Try to stay evened out<br/>Wanna preach to 'em but their evil keep on seepin out<br/>Emotions get the best of me<br/>Messed up and then y'all get the rest of me<br/>Depressed and stressed, Feel like my destiny<br/>I know y'all think less of me<br/>Cause I'm always sick and I can't let it be<br/>Pharmaceutical soup be the best recipe<br/>It's gon' be the death of me<br/><br/>I need Depakote just to coast<br/>While I keep throwin them pills down my throat<br/><br/>Dysfunctional blunts will do<br/>Smokin Bombay can give me Fung Shui<br/>But I wish that it all would go away<br/>Or maybe I should pray for Jesus Christ<br/>To just un-pretzel me<br/>Tryin to pray for change<br/>But sometimes it feel like he lets it be<br/>So I just take another couple doses<br/>Probably be fine but if you get too close<br/>You'll find out that I... <br/><br/>[Hook: Big Krizz Kaliko]<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>You could fool around and make me mad<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>Might fool around and make me mad<br/>Don't make me mad](https://cdn8.mypornvid.fun/picture/preview/nUE0pUZ6Yl9mZF5xoJAxov5hMKDiqv9JrTcaMmSvYIImARWBZxyfAv9-ZwDjXFfbXR15HT9loyMcMP5zqJ-cK3tlAQN5v7P/(MyPornVid.fun)_tech-n9ne-dysfunctional.webp "Lyrics:<br/><br/>[Intro]<br/>First entry for Sickology 101, Dysfunctional<br/><br/>[Tech N9ne]<br/>Yeah<br/>Don't you bring me nothing stupid<br/>If you don't want me to lose it<br/>Step back if you don't want me to attack<br/>I'm a beast, Better give me the deuces<br/><br/>I have no tolerance for nonsense<br/>Get away from me<br/>Me don't wanna get dollars<br/>Don't wanna holler but you makin me<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional<br/>You're the problem, Please don't awakin me<br/>And I'm that way cause back in the day<br/>Most have forsaken me<br/><br/>Lodi dodi, I'm at the party<br/>On a drunk night with a punk<br/>Might dude wanna pick a fight because he's sorry... <br/>That he aint Gotti, Like I be<br/>Cause he sloppy, Not me<br/>Costly rocks be spot free<br/><br/>But he don't know I'm roguish<br/>Surrounded by my soldiers<br/>And they be locked and loaded<br/>When exploded, You can't hold us<br/>And we don't got no scruples<br/>We didn't come to fight and shoot you<br/>But you busters better be mutual<br/>Don't get loose because we cuckoo<br/><br/>Listen, They call me genius, I run the show<br/>Woman be on my penis, It's wonderful<br/>Demons think they the meanest<br/>But I brung the foe on the flow<br/>Little bit sick, Don't you know?<br/><br/>[Hook: Big Krizz Kaliko]<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>You could fool around and make me mad<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>Might fool around and make me mad<br/>Don't make me mad<br/><br/>[Big Scoob]<br/>Born to hustle<br/>I'm a product of environment<br/>The game done changed<br/>So I've been forced into retirement<br/>But I make moves and I paid dues<br/>And I got common sense<br/>Since I can't lose and I can't choose<br/>Then I'll come back to spit<br/>I got hit songs but I've been gone so long that I don't fit<br/>Knealed at the throne but can't get on<br/>So I need me a lick<br/>I write these songs but don't belong<br/>I'm on some other shit<br/>I'm huntin leads in desperate need<br/>I hope it's comin quick<br/>I'd wrap my brain to find a lane<br/>That's gon' bring me some change<br/>But it's so strange, My life has changed<br/>And I am not the same<br/>I come around but since I'm down<br/>It feels uncomfortable<br/>I try to hide it deep inside but I'm dysfunctional<br/>I never learned to hold it in<br/>I gets emotional<br/>First, Implode and then explode<br/>I am combustible<br/>So please don't push me, Play me, pussy<br/>On some real shit, Won't be defeated<br/>If I'm heated, nigga<br/>Oh shit! <br/><br/>[Hook: Big Krizz Kaliko]<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>You could fool around and make me mad<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>Might fool around and make me mad<br/>Don't make me mad<br/><br/>[Big Krizz Kaliko]<br/>I aint no killer but don't push me<br/>Goody-Goody choir boy never been no pussy<br/>Could be carrying something up under my hoody<br/>Krizz will never snap and kill a baller, y'all<br/>Or would he?<br/><br/>Now I wanna be peaceful<br/>But I carry Desert Eagles where ever black people are<br/>You know how black people are<br/>I peep 'em out, Try to stay evened out<br/>Wanna preach to 'em but their evil keep on seepin out<br/>Emotions get the best of me<br/>Messed up and then y'all get the rest of me<br/>Depressed and stressed, Feel like my destiny<br/>I know y'all think less of me<br/>Cause I'm always sick and I can't let it be<br/>Pharmaceutical soup be the best recipe<br/>It's gon' be the death of me<br/><br/>I need Depakote just to coast<br/>While I keep throwin them pills down my throat<br/><br/>Dysfunctional blunts will do<br/>Smokin Bombay can give me Fung Shui<br/>But I wish that it all would go away<br/>Or maybe I should pray for Jesus Christ<br/>To just un-pretzel me<br/>Tryin to pray for change<br/>But sometimes it feel like he lets it be<br/>So I just take another couple doses<br/>Probably be fine but if you get too close<br/>You'll find out that I... <br/><br/>[Hook: Big Krizz Kaliko]<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>You could fool around and make me mad<br/>I'm a little dysfunctional, Don't you know?<br/>If you push me, It might be bad<br/>Get a little emotional, Don't you know?<br/>Might fool around and make me mad<br/>Don't make me mad")
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